One of my favorite artists is this guy called Mike.
Previously known as “Mike Stud” — which, by the way, is a masterclass in rebranding — but he has this trilogy of albums he’s releasing called the Highs, Lows, and In-betweens.
Which erroneously simplifies life, but I think that about sums it up. And while most of us focus on gaining more highs or vehemently try to avoid the lows, the reality is the majority is spent within the in-betweens (unless you’re like me and have frequent flyer points to the lows).
The parties, the peaks, the vacations, it’s all such a small part of life. Even when you have the world, most of your day is still spent in your house, with your thoughts, treading water.
I think this is why self-help books took off: to give us all a way to cope with these periods. Or why we’re constantly satiated by videos of fast cars and luxury lifestyles to escape it.
Which brought me to the realization that for most of us, the majority of our life is spent in this place of being “good enough,” which is a terribly complicated place to exist in.
Your job covers the bills and gives you some fun money. You have a solid rotation of friends you see maybe once or twice a week. The place you live has enough going on to suffice. The work you’re doing slightly scratches the itch of fulfillment.
There never is a reason to change or nuke it all, so most of us don’t. We float through life as this ghost until we enter into the highs or lows where things become lucid again.
That’s why I think you see self-destructive people or those who constantly seek conflict, those who just want feel… anything. And it’s much easier to enter that state on demand than book a ticket to Barcelona.
But, it begs the question, is the best approach to be stoic and grateful for the life we have that’s “fine” or demand more out of it all?
Since quitting my job and starting Better not, I can say my in-betweens have been a whole lot more detailed. In positive and negative ways, but for once, there’s urgency.
Every day is literally what I can make it. Which offers a ton of a freedom and a ton of responsibility.
Without the script of a 9-5, you can choose which direction you swim in willingly. Bottle of wine on a Monday? Sure.
Stay up till 2 am, working a project? Even better.
Waking up from a matrix has it's benefits, but there is such a beauty in not having to consider so many things.
And I don’t mean to say is this is a “correct way of thinking.” More often than not, I find myself envious of the person who has a family, a kid, a house, that’s my age.
This secure, unquestionable happiness.
But, personally, I'm not sure if happiness was ever my north star. I’ve always chased motion. That every day something was made that wasn’t before because I have a seat at the table of life for x amount of years.
And I'm not sure if this is unconventional thinking or the norm, but if you have similar thoughts I'm sure it weighs on you a ton. You may even feel like Sisyphus having to push a boulder up a hill everyday just to watch it roll back down the following.
So, if there’s a main point to this one, I’d say it’s make your in-betweens valuable and decide what that looks like to you. Decide if that's living with the anxiety of creating your own day and being truly responsible for yourself. Or decide if work isn't everything and there's so much more to life than building.
Either way, the majority of life is spent in that zone. And if you’re living for the weekends or fearing Mondays, maybe then it’s time to reflect if it’s time for a chance.
Till next time.
-B